As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
