I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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