he shaved USA in his pubs
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
