why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
