Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
