I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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