Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
