I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
