bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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