somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
