...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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