4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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