Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
