pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
