ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
