the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
