don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
MIDGETS
????
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
