Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
