your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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