Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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