im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
