She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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