so let's talk penis.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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