five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
tell me about the eggs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
