people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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