I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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