Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
