I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
