why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
