We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
