I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
