cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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