my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
