yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
