the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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