I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
