Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
