You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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