Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize