At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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