Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
