16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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