lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
