your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
