do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
