So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize