she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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