I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
