Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fuck appropriateness.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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