Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
