How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
