goodnight i made you a song goodbye
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
