i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
