New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
