I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
