you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
