Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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