I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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