just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
