You really coming over, don't trick.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
