if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize