Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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