I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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