You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
