This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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