After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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