If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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