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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
