im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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