I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
